Tonight my roommate went out with a guy who I like (I know nothing would happen with him but I can't help having feelings for him). She went out with him while I stayed at home with my big pregnant belly... I wish that somebody was here to love me the way the rest of the women at this point in their pregnancy have. I wish I had someone here to be excited about the upcoming birth of the baby with me, to sit on the couch with me and just watch tv, to eat dinner with me, to laugh with, to sleep next to. I just wish that I wasn't going through this as a single woman, usually it doesn't get to me but tonight being alone is really getting to me.
Ok...enough of the pity party
On a good note, Isaiah called me today from the baby store asking me about what baby things I still don't have, he ended up buying bottles, bibs, a moses basket and some gdiapers. That was really great, I am glad that he is excited about his child and that he is actually involved enough that he wants to buy things for the baby. He was suprised at how many things there are needed for a baby and he said that workers kept asking him if he needed help because he looked so lost in that store.
For almost the entire pregnancy we haven't had any contact or communication so by this time I wasn't even really thinking about him with the baby anymore and was ready to raise my child without a father. Now that I know he wants to be involved I am so glad for my child. I know it's important for someone to have a relationship with their father. I was even thinking about the upcoming father's day and how I would like to make a card from LO to daddy and give him some pictures of LO also. I hope I am not getting my hopes up too high and that my child can have a good relationship with both parents.
Still...I wish I was going through this with someone who is my partner and lover instead of just my baby's father and ex.
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